Bring On the Cavalry
by Fiercest
Summary: Because we all know who's going to come out on top in the end. genfic.


**A/n: **This was inspired by an icon saying, 'We need better heroes' with pics of Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto doing the silly things they do. Oh those adorable little tikes ^^.

Bring On the Cavalry

Over the ash strewn, blood spattered earth of Los Noches hovered the Last Stand. The protectors of all life and souls that remained within the three worlds. This was a battle of the ages, one which would be remembered for eternity; a clash that would decide the fate of the live, the dead and the forsaken.

The great hero of our story was driven wild with the unconscious insanity of his inner demon.

The heroin; preoccupied with freeing the man from his self indulgent prance free of reality.

Other less important side characters who in no way affect the plot on a larger scale all engaged themselves in battles to which the outcomes- lets be honest –really have no impact on the final result no matter who wins or loses.

The battles had all reached simultaneous stalemates when a sudden supersonic _BOOM_ erupted in the very center of the melee.

"Are you kidding me?" a voice hardly above normal speaking volume seemed to echo around the enormous stadium of destruction the castle base had become.

A sigh, "We leave you people alone to fend for yourselves for _five minutes_ and you can't even keep it under control that long?"

"This is why I try not to associate myself with Shinigami." The fairest haired of the quartet intoned smugly.

"And where in gods name is that idiot son of mine?"

Clearly the Cavalry is here.

X-x-X

"Why hello there!" Urahara giggled- very masculine-like of course. Urahara was nothing if not manly –as he peered down at the irish wannabe protagonist of the show named for a detergent (Seriously, was Kubo doing laundry at the time?).

"…hi." Chorused Ichigo, Orihime and Uryu at various degrees of enthusiasm.

After all, the poor shinigami representative had been dead moments before, Uryu still had a sword protruding from his chest and Orihime had been sobbing uselessly.

You'd think the logic of healing them would have struck her.

It didn't.

The shopkeeper let out another (Manly!) giggle. "Lets go boys! Upsy daisy! There's work to be done."

"I have a gapping hole in my chest."

"And?"

"My internal organs have collapsed."

"Your point?"

"Oops, I was too busy to heal them!"

"Doing what, my dear?"

"Crying my eyes out."

"A more justifiable excuse, I've never heard!"

Somehow _hate_ just doesn't seem to cover it.

X-x-X

"Rukia."

"Yes?" She grunted in pain as several hundred pounds of muscle pushed down on her and her sword.

"Rukia-chan," the voice sang again.

"Ah," she gasped in pain as the force of her opponent pushed her into the rock beneath her feet, creating a crater where she stood.

"Ru-ki-a." she grew annoyed and enunciated the syllables in impatient irritation.

"For the love of the holy king in heaven _what is it _Yoruichi?!" It might possibly have been the first rude comment she'd said to a superior in all her time as a shinigami.

"Are you finished yet?"

"Not. _Quite_."

"Oh." … "Well _do_ hurry up _please_, we've got _things_ to do."

X-x-X

"Toshirou!" The father of three seemed to fly as he glomped onto the youngest of the Gotei captains. "How I've missed your wonderfully cheering motivations."

"Oh…it's you." The white haired boy blinked up at his former captain. "Shouldn't you be off somewhere getting drunk? Or maybe ruining your lungs with those cancer sticks?"

"Just like that! It's so nice to see my little third seat all grown up and ordering big people around!"

"You must be so proud." Ryuken added with a roll of his eyes.

Obliviously Isshin nodded enthusiastically. "You know…my girls are about your age now…"

"Don't even try it." Ryuken pulled on his ear to drag him over to the Captain-General. "We're a little too busy for one of your stupid matchmaking schemes."

"But they'll be old maids soon! And I want grandchildren!"

"They're ten years old!"

X-x-X

The important characters assembled in a semi-circle opposite the conveniently positioned antagonists, leaving the less important, minor characters- who are in no way cool enough to get the spotlight- on the sidelines to chomp down on some popcorn while the interesting ones decided on their fates.

"Where have you been?!" Aizen fussed, "I have been waiting here for fifteen _whole_ minutes." He pointed his finger at Urahara petulantly, "The _nerve_ of you!"

Urahara raised his eyebrow at him while Yoruichi yawned loudly, unimpressed with his very squealish attitude. Ryuken turned the volume on his head phones up and tossed the prostrate body of his son into a corner for a while to clean up later. Isshin just picked his nose while his son hovered worriedly like a mother hen near Rukia who was doubled over massaging her lower back.

"We need better heroes," Renji proclaimed, head meeting the conveniently placed desk.

"Pot. Meet kettle."

"Why isn't anybody listening to me!?" Aizen screamed, tears of neglect running down his (soft like a babies bottom, but in a _ruggedly_ handsome way) cheeks.

"Can we kill them now?" Tousen, was impatient. He had an appointment with the optometrist to get to, and they were making him late!

Gin just grinned creepily, not saying a word. "I think Rangiku broke him when Unohana took her shirt off to heal her gappingly open stomach."

Every man in the castle found themselves extremely agitated for two very different reasons in that moment.

"Kubo has really got to work on regulating the fanservice."

BOOM.

In a puff of smoke Tatsuki suddenly appeared with an enormous bazooka in one hand and a sword double her weight in her other. In one mighty sweep of the blade she decapitated Aizen, Gin and Tousen and with her enormous Army Grade utility blasted the remaining arrancars into the 'semaine prochaine'.

"What?" … "You guys were taking too long."

**A/N: **As a recurring theme: I regret nothing!


End file.
